Sunday, November 26, 2006

Halfway done with the Hawkeye Scarf

I almost frogged it because I am still not sure if I like it, but the kids like it and since it is for them I'm going with it.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

So I should've guessed

that the scarf would not go smoothly. It looked easy enough, even with the double stranding. Of course I had my four kids and my nephew and it was even more loud and rowdy than usual. The kids were very excitable. VERY excitable. Having their cousin over was VERY, VERY EXCITING. So they were running and hollering and having lots and lots of fun which occasionally included little fights over very stupid things. Which led to me being distracted from the scarf. Which led to me somehow being off on my stitches or rows or something. Which led to a really goofy looking switch in the pattern. It went from nice, straight diagonal rows to a mish mash of diagonalness.

I've started over, now using Chunky USA , black and gold for the Hawkeyes , on size 15's. I wasn't sure if I would like it, but it's turning out kind of fun. We'll see how it goes.

Ahhhh my yarn!

So, I've been slacking a lot in the yarn department, and even more in the picture dept. The digital camera is not cooperating so I may need to ask for one for Christmas.

I haven't finished much, just the bag for my Grandma and the Kitty Pi-I so need to make another as we have two kitties. I am still working on the colored crocheted squares and started a new felted bag for myself. I also have a bunch of smallish WIP's that I just need to buckle down and finish. One of which was a shawl I made last wintertime, knitted with a crocheted edge. All I have to do is finish the second crocheted row and weave in the ends and it is done. I just need to pull out of the bin. That's it. Sheesh.

I've also started scarves for my boys a couple of times and they are just not coming out the way I want them too. Until! A link to this: The Misti Alpaca Chunky Diagonal Rib Knit Scarf

I am using some Wool-Ease I bought to make the boys hats and scarves-the hats have been done since last fall. Double-stranding and it is turning out very nice, bulky and soft and just the right size-using 10.5 needles. Hooray!

Thanksgiving was a lot of fun with yummy, delicious food of which we were given lots of leftovers, YAY! Ate good food, played games, talked and laughed. Yesterday and today have been spent doing minimal things around the house-although I should be taking advantage of my extra days off-I'd rather use the time to relax and knit. So I am. A little laundry, made breakfast for the kids and the older nephew who stayed over last night, catching up on my DVR'd tv shows and YARN! YAY FOR YARN!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Life without drugs

So I'm coming off of my Cymbalta. This is both good and then terrifying. Will I be able to maintain without it? Are the current freakish moods and overreactions a by-product of coming down off the meds, or am I still like this? Should I really do this? Why do I feel the need to find out if maybe all the hard work in the mental department the last few years has worked enough that I can exist without the drug? Why can't I just be okay with having to be on a medication in the first place?

Being nuts has this way of undermining your own understanding of yourself. Tends to make you over-think everything, questioning whether what you are thinking/feeling/doing is "normal" or a crazy person warning sign. Am I just getting back to normal, or should I throw in the towel and gulp down the meds and stop tempting fate?

I am terrified of getting mired down in all the mental crap and not realizing how far down I'm going and having to put myself and my children and my husband through another bout of get your ass into the therapist you crazy woman. I always struggle with myself, wanting to just be "normal and okay" and having to prove I can verses taking the drugs and just living that way without having to find out or prove anything or struggle with needing them to just be okay.

So, the past couple weeks have been rough in that way, but not as bad as I anticipated and I'm determined to try this without medication and please God just let me be NORMAL.

This past week was a big test, as evidenced by the freak out post last night, but I'm making it and I haven't had a huge emotional reaction, no yelling or hollering, no loss of control, none of the stuff that I don't have the courage to type about here. I guess we'll see how it goes.

The eye is not as bad today, but it hurts like a bitch at times, especially in sunlight. I'd like to avoid having to be out, but we've got errands to run so that's how it goes. And holy cow have you seen that ginormous storm on Saturn? 350 mile per hour winds, insane.

Friday, November 10, 2006

This week...and why it was NOT fun.

Flat tires, cars not starting, being late for work, work being a major pain in the ass more than usual with all sorts of extra things to do, house being nuts, fundraisers suck ass, and my EYE IS JACKED UP AGAIN.


I am not happy. I really thought I was done with the eye thing. I thought I would go back to my normal nearsightedness with it's annual eye exams, mundane optometrist visits, especially as they've gotten rid of the SHOCKING MOTHERFUCKING PUFF IN THE EYE GLAUCOMA TEST.

So. Eye, jacked up again. There are a lot of nerve endings in the eye. A WHOLE LOT. If you do not believe me either google, or come over here so I can take one of my fingernails and scratch off your cornea so you can enjoy the fun I routinely go through with this stupid dumb ole stupidhead injury to the eye. Aside from the pain, it also causes your eye to water and your nose to run and drip uncontrollably. Pretty.

Also, work is nuts. Totally nuts. I have not even had the time to LOOK at hooks or needles, to nostalgically run my hand across some yarn. It's sad really.

To top off this week of NON-STOP GARGANTUAN FUN! we were evacuated from our office today. An awful, horrible, gag-inducing smell took over our office around 10am this morning. The boss, after some urging, finally called the gas company who promptly shooed us out of the building. Some caricature man drove up-asking if anyplace showed off their address (YES, YES we are the thirteen shivering woman standing outside of the building for the awful, horrible, potential methane gas smell.) The thirteen of us have not suddenly become hardcore smokers or freak weirdos that feel the need to stand out in the the snow while you explain the non methane gas thing happening. (Some of us find that hard to believe.) It is eventually supposed that the sewer gas vents are venting right into the air vents for the heater which are apparently sucking this awful toxic gas in and distributing it through the building. Mmmm, yummy AND healthy. Natural gas=go home with pay. Sewer gas=Stay and work and hope you do not have any long-term effects.

To put it like this, between the eye, the tire issues, driving the big ass loud Heavy Half truck (remind to tell those stories later) and bad, suffocating smells in the office I am totally and completely ready to just GO TO BED and hope the next week is not even nearly as strange and weird and stressful as this has been.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

To make up for the other night

I am being extremely lazy today, hoooraaaay!

The date was fun, dinner was DELICIOUS and now I am being totally lazy and will end up regretting it when I am way busy this week. Maybe I'll do something later.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Being busy sometimes sucks.

So, I have this cold. This horrible cold that I've had for a couple weeks now that tricks me into thinking I am getting better and then it gets WORSE. Stuffed up, head cold, body aches, keeping me up at night miserableness. UGGGGH.

Last night was one of those how many things can we pack into one night nights. All I really wanted to do was come home, get into my jammies, drink hot tea, read, internet, maybe knit or crochet. That's all I wanted. Instead I got off of work, went to the bank, stopped at the store, picked up the kids, went to another store, got them all to one of the local colleges to drop the girls off for a Girl Scouts overnighter where we waited forever and a day, and then finally got some dinner for the boys and me, put coolant in the car because the engine was overheating and proceeded to come back home to wrap the present for the nephew who turns eight today. We were supposed to then go up to the in-laws to meet my husband who had just gotten off of work for an impromptu birthday dinner for the nephew. I decided that we would not make it to the dinner as it was already almost 9pm and would take a half an hour just to get there. We are taking the nephew for dinner or something another night to celebrate then instead.

The plan at the point was to take some Nyquil and crash. We only had two kids at home. Should have been easy. I took the Nyquil once the husband was home and proceeded to crash. To be woken more than a few times by ornery boys who were too dang overtired and couldn't sleep.

Thankfully the boys all got out of here today and the girls and I slept and made breakfast and lounged. But now I need to get in gear again as the husband and I have an actual date. A real-live go out to dinner date without any children in tow. It is amazing. I've been waiting forever to do this. And now I feel like crap and just want to climb into fresh jammies and crash again.


Thursday, November 02, 2006

Kitty Pi is felted!

You didn't really think I'd have pictures yet? I took crappy before pics with my cell phone camera and at some point I will send them to my email and upload them. Hopefully I can get my digital camera working for after pics.

It seemed really small post-felting, but it's stretched out more than I thought. I also used worsted weight yarn and not bulky, hence the smallness. It seems just right for our kittens though. Hopefully they like it.

I got Socks Soar on Circular Needles today, woohoooo! I came home and there was the box, freshly delivered. Can't wait to try it out. I started reading it tonight and it seems much less intimidating then the dpn's. We'll see if I can actually get farther than just the very beginning of a sock.

I ordered a whole bunch of other books with it, birthday gift cards rock. It shipped before the rest and I cannot wait to get more books. Right now I am watching Ace of Cakes on the food network, I'm totally into this show, they make the coolest cakes. They have a website, but I am too lazy to link right now.

I'm really lame tonight, very tired and I am sick and have to work tomorrow and do fifty gazillion things this weekend and I just want to lay around and be all sicky and miserable and left alone.