Thursday, March 17, 2011

Halfway through March...Really?

It's hard to believe we're halway through the month of March and celebrating St. Patrick's Day. We're also celebrating the birthday of my niece, Jozie (pictured above), who turns 2 today! I cannot believe how fast she is growing up, and I should be used to it seeing my four grow up so quickly. We'll be going to her birthday party tomorrow night, pretty excited for that. :)

Below is Laura in her finished hat, I am so pleased with how it turned out and Laura is pleased I have pictures in a more matching shirt. It's such a good feeling to make things for people you love.

Next we have Abbie in her track stitch beret, in a pretty blue. Unfortunately the band is a tad too snug, so I'll be making her another. It still astounds me when I use the same hook, yarn, and pattern for a project as one I've previously made and it turns out to be a different size. I'd thought my tension was pretty set, apparently not! I don't have anymore of this blue, will need to get some more for a slightly larger version.

I've been absent again, mainly because I haven't felt like writing (not that I do a whole lot of that anyhow). My family doctor has taken on getting me set up with Mayo, unfortunately they didn't get the process started a week and a half ago when I was in, but after some follow up calls the process is started!). I'm now waiting to hear from Mayo, after they look over my records and decide what to do with me. I've had some kind of respiratory illness that's kicking my behind, but am on antibiotics to hopefully clear it up. Things have been up and down for me as usual and I went through some sleep troubles, but am able to sleep more again, thankfully.

I've also been up and down in my relationship with God, I find myself getting down because of my lack of function and stuck in pain and have a harder time reading the Bible and connecting to God. Usually music helps during those times, but sometimes I'm even staying away from that. Last week, in spite of feeling pretty horrible, I made it to church to teach Confirmation and attend Ash Wednesday service. I asked God to keep me from infecting others with my growliness during my usual pre-Confirmation prayer (where I always ask for his guidance in teaching and talking with the kids.) As usual, God was with me and we had a good class. Worship was absolutely healing. We sang At the Foot of the Cross, one of my very favorite songs, and I found myself feeling so blessed and comforted. Ash Wednesday service is so meaninful to me now, where once it was just another service to attend. It was interesting to talk with the Confirmation kids about what Ash Wednesday is, and to remember how far I've come in my faith. I found myself struck by how little my own girls knew about it, and was reminded of how little I once knew about it.

I'm so thankful to have grown so much in my faith, to be so much more connected to God. Thankfully he is always there, I just need to remember to hold my own end of the relationship (something which I fail at regularly, not only with God, but with friends and family as well.) I love them all so much and still find it a struggle, which it really shouldn't be. I'm thankful that they all love me in spite of that.

Last week I had a rough day full of emotion and lots more crying-as much as I like getting the emotion out, I really dislike doing it. During that I said to my husband that I have nothing, aside from myself, to bring to the table. I have only myself and who I am and what I can do, which lately is not much in terms of job and activity, etc. Now, during my non-misery times I know that I bring a lot to the table in terms of who I am and how I love, but in those miserable times it doesn't always feel like much. Fast forward to last night's Lenten service where the theme was...Nothing. I shouldn't be surprised by these serendipitous moments, but I continually am and blessed to have them. During his sermon PT said "Jesus + Nothing=Everything" So very, very true.

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