Wednesday, October 29, 2008

so its my birthday

and normally I am a huge geek for birthdays, be it mine or my children's or really anyone else's. My husband jokes that my birthdays are actually weeklong celebrations and there is a little teensy bit of truth to that, I love to celebrate and will stretch it out as long as I possibly can.

This year is different. Not because I am turning 33 and feeling like that is old or any of the other normal reasons for not being excited about a birthday, but because my health is not great. It's not horrible, but things are pretty rough. I am having a lot of trouble walking and moving, my joints are locking up and I'm hurting quite a bit. Also having more memory issues and some of the myoclonus again. It's really frustrating, I feel way too young to feel this old. It's also a little scary and I am trying not to let myself even think about the what ifs.

So, it took me forever to get going today, just getting the kids to school sapped a good part of my energy. I ended up crying in the shower and I really, really hate letting this get to me. It is though. Made it to work, and the preschool surprised me with a card and sang Happy Birthday and I got lots of little hugs. You've gotta love that.

My own kiddos sang and said Happy Birthday and gave lots of hugs and my sisters sent me a really pretty necklace, I haven't gotten jewelry in forever.

I just wish I could get out of this funk.

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