If you haven't heard this song yet

here you go.


Tenth Avenue North is one of my favorite bands. They are incredible live and I highly recommend you run out and buy their albums and see them if they come anywhere near you. Beautiful music and a beautiful message.

I love their new album The Struggle, and this was my favorite song until I heard "Worn" which I heard for the first time at Lifelight live. Unbelievable. Comforting. So true. Anyhow, happy Sunday :)

I have my computer back!

I'm one of those fortunate people who has a father that fixes computers (among many other wondrous things) and thankfully he fixed mine! A new power supply was what was needed and he installed it.

I haven't used my computer in two years. We moved in with my husband's parents and most of our belongings went into storage, included the monitor and power cords and keyboard and mouse and all those other things you need for your desktop computer. We didn't really have a place to set up the computer while we all shared the house, so I told my dad it was definitely not a rush job and remained thankful that I have an iPhone and later a Kindle Fire. However, things like no word processing program or printer or human finger size keyboard held us back from all sorts of computer exploits and enjoyment.

Finally, this week, the computer was fixed! We were so excited. Until we remembered that the monitor and everything else was SOMEWHERE in our storage unit. Tonight the kids and I tackled the issue. We hadn't been to our storage unit for a few months, which was evident upon opening the door as were hit with cobwebs and dust and startled crickets. We forged ahead. Climbing over boxes, moving things, opening containers and said boxes in search of our lost computer support pieces we found ourselves sweaty and dirty and unable to even find the massive 22 inch NON FLAT SCREEN monitor or the box containing the rest.

We continued, determined. I spotted the monitor. The girls had thought the behemoth was actually a tv, not realizing it was the MASSIVE monitor I purchased ages ago from Tech Truck, barely able to carry it to the car. After much sweating and contortionist positions we excavated it and I got it into the back of our Pacifica.

We still hadn't found the long lost box of computer accessories. We opened everything, moving endless boxes and taking breaks to get a breather outside of the dusty and hot storage garage. In spite of our best efforts the box was not to be found.

So we went to Walmart and then Best Buy and more money than I'd like to have spent later we had what we needed-minus speakers. Just carrying the monitor into the house did me in (why did this have to be the week Joe is out of town?) so we took a break for dinner and lounging and wine-drinking (that part was just for me, I hope that's obvious.)

After dinner we tackled moving the desk back to the living room and other things out of the way and I set to work. The kids were excited, trying to decide who would have the first turn. They failed to realize that after 2 years of non-use this old machine needed more than a few updates.

I'm only about halfway through updating, but I had to stop to actually type a post to my blog and revel in using a REGULAR KEYBOARD! And having a GIANT SCREEN to read my words on. Oh computer, how we've missed you!

Another long absence...

At this point I'm fairly certain I'm the only one left reading this blog. That's okay though, if anything I enjoy reading back through it. It's like a scrapbook, although sporadic at times. So far its been a tough year, a year of unbelievable heartache and sadness, but also a year filled with joy and amazing blessings and beautiful moments.

 I've been to nine funerals this year. I've lost more than a few people who've meant a lot to me and to my family. Some were expected, as in lengthy illness, others seemed too sudden-like my cousin Mark. My grandpa and my aunt passed away within weeks of each other. There is so much loss, so much sadness. I've often felt drained, as if I have no more to give. I struggle with not being able to care for others and feeling as if I am losing my empathy. I miss them.

 In the midst of the bad, however, there has been so much good. I'm not sure I'm up to the task of putting it all into words, so you'll get my best efforts in this moment. I've seen more genuine love and care by so many people than I probably ever have in my life. I've watched our family and friends reach out and love each other, support each other, and laugh with each other. We've cried together, hugged each other, and worshiped God together.

I could honestly write books on each of the individuals who have passed away, on who they were and how they touched so many. My Grandpa Dick was a beautiful example of a husband, father, and grandfather. Someone who lived his faith daily in all the quiet, real ways we should and someone who gave us all an example of how to truly live. My Aunt Traci touched so many with the love of Christ, loving and leading others-and all of us-to truly know Him and to live and rejoice in His love and providence. She taught us to embrace our faith and be loved by God even when things are horrible and painful-to know that hope is always there. My cousin Mark was loved by so many people, he was a great friend and a wonderful father. So many people talk of how he was there for them, with a quiet word or funny joke.

This weekend a benefit concert street dance was held for Mark's kids. It was bittersweet. Amazing to see so many people come out in support-and those who really just came for the music ;) A ton of people worked hard to put this on and rocking bands entertained us. We had a blast. We missed Mark. We celebrated his life and danced and laughed. I'm so thankful to everyone who came out in support and so very, very blessed to have such a close, loving family to go through all this with.

 There is a lot more I could share, and some I'm not ready to yet, so I'll save it for later. Hopefully I won't be absent for as long this time. I will say trying to write a blog post on my phone or Kindle isn't quite as easy as computer-which I will hopefully have back up and running soon. Life has changed a lot on my end, I've worked hard at living healthier and have lost 65 pounds so far. I am now home taking care of my nephews and niece-as well as my own four-and having an absolute blast doing so. Its so much fun I can't believe I get paid for it. ;) I am still reading a whole bunch and knitting and crocheting as well-I definitely need to get some pics uploaded. I'm off for now, thanks if you're here reading this and welcome if its the first time you've read here. I apologize for my lack of posts, if you read back you'll realize that's a recurrent theme here.

Words aren't enough.

If you know me, you know I love words. But today, they aren't enough. My cousin died today. It isn't right, it isn't okay, and I've come dangerously close to questioning God.

Mark is only a few years older than me. He has three amazing kids. He is an awesome and wonderful guy. I refuse to type in past tense. He is these things and this person. He IS.

I can't express adequately who Mark is or how much he has meant to me; how much he has meant to so many people.

I will miss Mark more than I can say. So many will miss Mark. His laugh, his voice, his humor, his intelligence. What an amazing guy and how blessed we are to have known him.

I miss him so much.