Merry Christmas & Happy End of the Year!

Figured I should get on here at least once more before the end of the year.

No big updates, I've seen my nephrologist once since the MRIs, no big bad scary things on the MRI but I am waiting to see the neurologist in the beginning of January for details. It did show that I have arthritis in my lower back, no big surprise there. At least we know it isn't rheumatoid arthritis. Assuming the joint pain in the rest of my body is also more than likely arthritis.

For now I am keeping on with keeping on.

I have had rough days, but had some really great days over Christmas Eve and Christmas, which I was VERY thankful for. I had been worried about handling all of the holiday business without many opportunities for rest, but it went pretty well, all things considered. I seem to be paying for that now though, haven't been able to sleep much and today is pretty rough pain wise. We have decided to stay home and take it easy and try to get the house cleaned up. I'm also hoping to get some rest in this afternoon. Feel like crawling out my skin today and the pain is really uncomfortable. It'd be nice to just be able to wish it away.

Christmas was really wonderful, we had a great time and the kids were so much fun. I think the only thing better than experiencing Christmas as a kid is watching your own kids experience it. My sisters, brother, brother in law, and the little nephew man are all here so that rocks. Its been so good having us all here together and seeing them again. They're here through New Year's-one sister's birthday is on New Year's Eve, WOOHOOO!, so we'll all celebrate together.

I think this may now qualify as the most boring blog EVER, it may be worth it for the couple people reading to go just go ahead and re-read from the beginning, those are a bit more exciting.They are filled with a lot of yarn as well, and the reason I originally started this blog-as evidenced by the title.

MRIs, Blood tests-check

Yesterday was an afternoon full of MRIs. Four in all is what I was told. They asked if I would be able to lay that long and I replied its one of the things I CAN do right now. Thankfully no massive twitches or shake episodes. I did have one neck twitch, but thankfully it was during one of the shorter ones so I didn't have to go through two long ones twice. I was a little nervous beforehand, even though I know it won't hurt I am not a fan of closed in spaces. I was a bit panicky in the beginning but basically laid there and prayed and soon was relaxed.

Then it was off to get a ton of blood drawn for a lot of tests I don't know the names of or remember. This is why I have doctors.

Today I visit my rheumatologist-who I have not seen since before the big ER trip. I sort of assumed the info would be sent to him, but realized he may not even know I have a diagnosis. I've been seeing the genius nephrologist since he diagnosed me in the ER so there's been no need to go to the rheum.

Tomorrow afternoon I am back at the genius nephrologist, hopefully for some answers.

Thankfully the rest is doing me well and I am moving more easily STILL. Let's hope it keeps up.

It's now officially one week since the Mozzy Mania and I am glad to be doing better and not bent over and shuffling. I may or may not still mumble from time to time.

Neurologist-Check.

I saw the neurologist today, thankfully I did not have to get a spinal tap. I was very nervous about this. One of those was more than enough for me.

I did the usual rundown of strength, etc. tests. Pushing in all directions with hands, arms, feet, and legs; walking (hobbling) around; flipping my hand up and down on my other hand; touching my nose; and all that fun stuff. This was very disheartening for me as the last time I remember doing these things was in 2006 and I have really deteriorated since then. Not at all quick, much less strength, and a lot more give. Responding takes longer as well. I guess I knew these things, but seeing the difference in this way really got to me.

The short of it is that she added a few tests on to what my genius doctor had already ordered and we will see how the MRI and tests go before any decisions are made. She recommended I try physical therapy for the walking, but I will wait until after the tests for this as well. Also recommended I start seeing my rheum again. Haven't seen him since before the big ER visit.

The husband came with and did pretty well, I was glad to have him there and even happier that he didn't need to drive me straight home after a spinal. Whew. I know it is hard for him to see me go through this and that it scares him as well but he is trying not to let it show. I love him for it, but hope he talks to someone if not to me. It's a lot of worry and burden to hang on to. I love that he is there for me. I love that he makes me laugh in the middle of all this stuff and that he takes such good care of our kids and I don't have to worry about that.

Met up with a friend for lunch, good to catch up with her as I have missed her in my health-imposed solitude.

Still walking like Ozzy-or Mozzy as one of my daughters has named me (Mom + Ozzy) and wearing out really quickly. Putting in some hours today and relieved that I am able to do my own work instead of needing someone to do it for me.

And we're off

tomorrow neurologist visit, blood tests and head & spine MRI on Tuesday, and back to the doctor onThursday. Woohooo!

In the meantime, still shuffling along and trying to rest more.

One of the worst days in awhile

As far as mobility is concerned. The joint pain/locking up I've been having seems to have moved into my back, as of yesterday. I was having some trouble but was able to get more rest and only worked about four hours until I came home and collapsed on the couch.

Today I woke with nausea and dizziness again. Got the kids off to school and laid down and eventually made some muffins. I went in a little after eleven. Just taking a shower, getting dressed, and into the car had me sweating and weak and breathing as if I'd run a marathon. (I so wish I could run again but I am not sure I ever will.)

I worked through the day, trying to limit my activity as I knew it would be a long one with Advent services starting tonight. I was determined to make it to the service-and through it.

My slow awkward walking soon became an Ozzy like slightly bent over shuffle. I prayed, did a devotional from the chronic pain/illness site I'd found and prayed some more. Worked more. Had a meeting at two and realized I was once again having trouble getting the right words to come out and hold a thread of conversation. Thankfully this only lasted an hour or so. I was also having trouble making my body work as it should, hands weren't cooperating but it wasn't too bad.

I have to admit, usually when I am like this I go home to rest and hide. I don't like being this way in front of other people. I'm uncomfortable with their reactions and of appearing so off. I know everyone is concerned and caring and means well, but it is even more difficult for me to reassure them when I am going through that and having all the pain I've been in. I very much wanted to make it to the Advent Service, I really, really wanted to be there and was determined to get through it. I worked up the energy and tried to throw off the nervousness and shuffled on out for the meal before the service. I made it through.

Until the tremors started and I quickly realized this was turning into one of the jerky/shaky episodes. If I could've hurried I would have to hide. Basically my body and limbs will just twitch and jerk and shake and I have little to no control over it. It's also pretty painful when I am hurting like I am. Plus it looks very freaky and scares people and I just want to hide and be away from everyone when it happens. I made it to my office and wham off we went. I ended up crying in the middle from frustration and pain. Eventually a friend and my husband came in to check on me and I decided to go home. After the jerk episodes everything clenches up and I often have a harder time moving my body, especially my left side. I ended up shuffling out very slowly to the door which I could not open. My husband needed to open it, then help me into the car because I couldn't lift my legs to step up. I then needed help into my house.

I lost it at the door of the church. This is so frustrating and humiliating. I'm trying to handle it with strength and grace, but at 33 I should be able to make it through a day of work and a church service. I shouldn't be walking like an arthritic elderly person and need the door opened for me and be helped into the car and the house.

I see my doctor tomorrow. Hopefully he'll get me straightened out and the side effects aren't too bad.

Living with PAN-the lighter side

I am having very painful joints and some issues with walking and my brain doesn't always want to work the way it should (more than usual!). I've done two steroid boosts and plaquenil and it doesn't seem to be doing the trick, but I will find out the next course of action on the 4th of Dec. (I was told to prepare to go on the cytoxin again, we'll see.)

Anyhow, I thought I would share a couple of the lighter moments I've had recently.

I am 33 and close with my grandma who is in her 80's, we often attend church together and when we do I usually give her a hand when we walk to the altar to attend communion. There are two steps to walk up and she will use a rail and hold onto my hand for balance. Lately I have not been walking so well, but didn't think we'd have any trouble.

We walk up the steps together and I realize we are a tad wobbly. After receiving communion-where I had knelt down and had some trouble getting back up-we went to go back down and I whispered to her to let me get down the steps first and then I would help her. So I go down, then help her and then we started laughing and she said it was like the blind leading the blind. LOL So true.

The second would've been embarrassing except the lady involved was very nice and had a good sense of humor. I was being checked in for my regular blood draws and the woman at the desk was asking all the regular questions of if my info is still the same, etc. Then she asked what my symptoms were.

I completely drew a blank and could not think of even one of my symptoms.

(WHAT?!?! LOLI live with this everyday.) I tried to buy myself time,"Well, there are so many..." and "I have polyarteritis nodosa" (I could think of THAT but not the symptoms?!)

Still nothing. Not a word, nothing. This has happened before but never with something so obvious and with so many choices.

Then she supplied, "joint pain" YES! That's one.

I then explained that I have some memory and recall issues and this seemed to be one of those times. She said that it must make conversations interesting but that I could probably have fun with that too.

It's Official, not doing well

I saw my doctor this past week and I am officially still in this flare. The PAN is attacking my joints and I am hurting a ton, having some other issues, and really exhausted. There is also a wicked respiratory thing going through our house, I've been put on a couple medicines to attempt to kick it out and then back on the steroids. I have to go back for tests, they are adding a couple more, in a couple weeks and then see the dr again in 4. He wanted to see me in 3 weeks, but its Thanksgiving and he had no openings. He told me to prepare myself to go back on the cytoxan, but hopefully the steroids will do the trick. (Not holding my breath as they didn't when we tried them a couple months ago for this along with the plaquenil, but still holding a teeny tiny bit of hope.)

So things are not great, but at least my kidneys are still working okay and at this point it does not appear to be affecting any other organs. I am really not ready to go back on the chemo drugs, its been just past 6 months since I came off them. I had hoped I would get a nice reprieve, but no such luck.

In good news we had an awesome Halloween in our new to us house and an even awesomer night when Obama was elected!! And the Hawkeyes beat Penn State today!!!

In other news, that blasted risograph I work with is again NOT WORKING. I had a repair man out on Monday and it decided on Wednesday it was not going to load any new ink and once again none of my troubleshooting efforts are working. Even though I have now gained a lot of risograph troubleshooting knowledge. It loves me, it loves me not...

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

This is so amazing and I am so happy and crying and excited!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!!!!!

AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! WE DID IT!!!!!

Go Vote. Now.

If you have any interest in your healthcare, vote Obama, now. I personally have voted for him for far more than that and it feels fantastic to vote for a candidate I respect and really, really like.

go here

It's a contest and a good thing and you must click and go here!

just checking in

Wanted to update, still not doing that great but am a little better. Hurting a lot still, but maintaining, I see my doctor on Tues.-after I go vote for Obama/Biden of course.

so its my birthday

and normally I am a huge geek for birthdays, be it mine or my children's or really anyone else's. My husband jokes that my birthdays are actually weeklong celebrations and there is a little teensy bit of truth to that, I love to celebrate and will stretch it out as long as I possibly can.

This year is different. Not because I am turning 33 and feeling like that is old or any of the other normal reasons for not being excited about a birthday, but because my health is not great. It's not horrible, but things are pretty rough. I am having a lot of trouble walking and moving, my joints are locking up and I'm hurting quite a bit. Also having more memory issues and some of the myoclonus again. It's really frustrating, I feel way too young to feel this old. It's also a little scary and I am trying not to let myself even think about the what ifs.

So, it took me forever to get going today, just getting the kids to school sapped a good part of my energy. I ended up crying in the shower and I really, really hate letting this get to me. It is though. Made it to work, and the preschool surprised me with a card and sang Happy Birthday and I got lots of little hugs. You've gotta love that.

My own kiddos sang and said Happy Birthday and gave lots of hugs and my sisters sent me a really pretty necklace, I haven't gotten jewelry in forever.

I just wish I could get out of this funk.

No pictures yet...

my health is not so fantabulous at the moment, mostly I am working, being with my kids, doing some house stuff, and getting ready to turn 33 tomorrow. Okay so I really don't have much to do to turn 33, but the rest is all true.

Will update when I am feeling better.

My littlest guy is SIX today!

Colin had just turned two years old when this picture was taken, he is making a fashion statement in one of his sisters' hat and coat. He was such a little chubba. Today we are celebrating all day that he is now six years old, boy is he feeling big. This morning he announced he can now reach the tallest monkey bars, because of course he must be taller. He's asked for a jet pack and a dirtbike, both of which have been nixed for obvious reasons, but his dad did look them up on the internet for him. Colin will now tell you "I really wanted a jet pack, but they cost way too much money." lol

He is also wearing a "birthday tie." We had stopped at a consignment store yesterday and he found this tie and wanted it for his birthday, he's been wearing since then. I'll post pics later but it is hilarious, he walked up to my dad and yelled "HEY GRANDPA LOOK AT MY BIRTHDAY TIE!"

I love this kid.

CATS!

I love my cats. I really do, I am happy we have them and the whole family loves them and it has helped one of my sons get over his fear of animals to have them in our lives.

BUT. Last night, fairly late I heard a loud noise. I thought it was my husband and paid no attention. An hour or so later I got up as I suddenly remembered I needed to dry our clothes for this morning. As I walk into my kitchen I am smelling a perfumey sort of smell, like dryer sheets, so I follow the smell and why is the laundry room floor blue and WHAT IN THE HELL?!!?

My laundry room is a sea of detergent. The brand new just opened bottle of detergent is laying on its side on the floor with the cap off and it is now EMPTY. I stood there with my mouth open just staring at this gigantic mess, this waste of an ENTIRE bottle of laundry detergent.

I decided to ignore it and go back to bed. If I started cleaning it up I would be up all damn night and I had to get up early this morning and it would keep. I tried to think it would be easier if it were more solidified anyhow. I mean the floor in there is old anyway and it just isn't worth it.

Damn cats.

And again with the gone forever!

Finally, here again. Blah blah with the whole school started life is nuts still getting house together illness stuff, etc.

As a special gift I will post the master bathroom pictures. I do not have the pictures of it finished, it is now bright yellow and I will probably change it when I get enough energy to tackle it again.


Here it is, with the lovely border and sponge painting:


And shells which were hot glued around the top of the wall and all around the shower:


Some of the many tools used for removal and cleaning as well as odor control (odor control was most important at first):


No more border, thanks Dif and my handy dandy scraper!


The shell graveyard, also a shot of the really yucky carpet. The black around the edges is dog hair from the Newfoundland:


Yeah, seriously gross carpet. You can see why we were wore shoes in this part of the house.


And the shells are gone! They were stuck on fairly well, until I sprayed them with Dif, let them soak, and voila! they popped right off.


And finally, covered in primer. Whew. I had some yellow so I muted it quite a bit with white and it ended up still being VERY bright. Eventually I will repaint, but again, there is still so much that needs tackling it may be ten years before I get to it.


So, there you are, the bathroom redo. We also painted the bottom cupboards, which were a very dark wood, with a light, light brown. Much better.

I promise more pics soon!

Between the house, kids, work, and other activities I haven't had much extra time. I've then had to spend a lot of time recuperating from doing waaaaaay too much lately, my body was not very happy with me for a few days there.

We FINALLY have our carpet in upstairs, thank goodness. Now will be moving things into the bedroom. It is going to be so nice having bedrooms and beds and space and doors that can close. 6 people in three rooms for this long is a little wearing.

I can't wait to have dressers again.

The temporary kid play area, Arenne, Colin, & Abbie intently using it.


The Living Room, new couch hasn't been delivered yet:


The dining room, currently a storage area and where the Wii is, Drew is found here often.


The other side of the dining room, again storage for now.


The laundry room:


Kitchen:


The master bathroom, will be painted. We've torn out that weird sliding curtain thing and I am in the middle of epoxying the shower/tub surround.

even more pictures

This is the dog run in the backyard, the shed is pretty old, and there is concrete along with that lovely green umbrella.


We had this dumpster delivered as we knew there'd be lots of carpet and things thrown out. We filled maybe a fourth of it and let the former owners use it as they moved out (this saved us from having to throw it out ourselves). They filled the rest.


Natural Vegetation, yeah.


Side view of the deck, the tire and wood was left. The pvc piping was put up to hold an awning, we'll be removing it.


Very tall birdhouse

The skeery basement

Next are pics of the basement, which had been annihilated by a very large Newfoundland and a small pooping and peeing everywhere dog. We still have one room to tear carpet out of and a lot more bleaching and cleaning. We're going to put a sealer paint down
on the floor. This is waiting while we finish the main floor.

Here are the stairs going down:


One of the best parts, rows of shelves!


Some things they left:


My Future Craft Room!


The absolute worst, very horrifying room, you are looking at dog hair, pee, and poop along with mold-which was thankfully on the surface of the wall. This carpet is now gone, as is the mold.


Eventually this will be the playroom, after much work. This carpet is also going, and there was surface mold here as well, it has been removed. All of that is stuff they left, although we don't mind the treadmill and big screen tv.


Once again, all they left. We have lots of extra paint now, although most of it has now been painted over.


The work are next to the shelves, a better part of the basement.

As promised...pics!

First, the outside, we have a lot of work to do with the gardens and the outside needs painted, but the yard is huge and perfect for the kiddos:

we've finally made it out of the ghetto!

We're officially in our new house. In case I have not clarified before, our old neighborhood was not an actual ghetto, but it is full of duplexes with a lot of people crammed into a small area. As it is mostly rentals you have a mix of people who care about where they live and those who definitely do not. We're in a smallish town in the midwest, its as ghetto as towns like ours get.

We've been renting for the entire eleven years of our marriage and are so very happy to FINALLY be in our own place. Thankfully the house has cleaned up much better than expected and the awful, horrible dog pee smell is confined to two rooms in the basement, which we're tearing the carpet out of. I'd love to power-wash them with bleach, but regular old scrubbing and mopping with bleach will have to do.

New carpet for the bedrooms and hallway upstairs will be (hopefully) installed at the end of the week, I'll be painting this week. Also painting the shower/tub in the main bath with epoxy and I just might have killed a few of my much needed brain cells with the fumes.

For now all six of us are living in three rooms of the house; living, dining, and kitchen-along with using the bathrooms. Yes, we're living like squatters. It's tight, but will be worth it once the carpet is in and we can move in all the furniture.

Too tired now, but promise pictures soon!

The good news

is that they are cleaning the house a bit as they move out, along with airing it out. It is MUCH better than when we'd been there last.

The bad news is I am STILL packing and we have a big gigantic ton of work to do over the next couple weeks.

Yay!

Finally here again

I once again forgot my email and password for this thing, until I remembered I use Mozilla and they are saved. Whew.

Where to start? On the health front I am having another flare, now the vasculitis is attacking my joints and causing arthritis. I feel like an old lady and am worried I am taking too many NSAID's. I started a new drug called Plaquinil, which will hopefully stop the joint damage in its tracks. I had to have an eye exam prior to starting it, apparently my eyes are reliable. I told the doctor I was happy to hear that something actually worked right. I'm having more of the jerks/shakes/tremors and hands aren't always working right, at least I've had a few years of this to get (mostly) used to it.

The five year old has climbed onto my lap in an effort to convince me he should get to do an "art projeck" using glue right now. I am staying strong with my no's. Colin+glue=scary, sticky disaster

On the home front-AACK GAH ACK HELP!! We're moving over the next week or so, the house we are moving into is a mess. Apparently the one or both of the dogs that have lived there have made it their mission to shit and piss everywhere. Contributing to the awfulness of it, the house has been closed up for a couple months. It SMELLS horrible and makes me want to cry. We have a LOT of work to do now, but have to wait for them to get the rest of their stuff out-of which there is a ton. Scary, scary, scary. We're trying to focus on the end result, instead of the process in getting there. We may just get drunk and stay that way through all of the work in cleaning it up.

The end of this movie

makes up in a teensy way for the rest.

So it's been a bit

and I know the plan was for me to blog every day this month, but I haven't made that goal. At all. At the moment I am watching "I think I Love My Wife..." starring Chris Rock. I wish I could say I like this movie, but at this point it just irritates the shit out of me with it's stupid cliches and ridiculousness. There is something about this whole crappy genre of movies that treat wives like they are this ball and chain or thing to be put up with that just completely irritates the shit out of me. Not even just wives, but even those who have long-term commitments, all of it. It is completely insulting that in movies we are relegated to picking out wall sconces and wallpaper and apparently that is all we are good for. Blech. And another blech.

The other thing is that it assumes wives are these are ignoramuses who would have NO IDEA that their husband is being a ridiculous jerk off chasing some chick who can't stand on her own two feet to find someone not already with another person. Starting a fight to get out of the house? Blech, yuck, patooey!

So on the real side of things, my kids are fantastic and doing great things every day. I have been having a crapload of arthritis and although I am handling it better mentally, it is really jacking with my daily agenda.

I have also decided that it is officially my mission to let other moms know that most of us are not at all together and prepared and FANTABULOUS, that there are only a very select few who are able to follow that mode and the rest of use muddle along in a realistic way. At the preschool program tonight I was told by three other mothers that were not prepared for dressing their kids up for the program and how they'd rushed to get them appropriate clothes for the night. And how they STILL felt unprepared for forgetting tights/shoes/whathaveyou. I made it a point to let them know two of my four were in lunch stained shirts and all four were in play clothes and we barely had their hair brushed before the program started. I let all of them know that if they were even tempted to feel bad they should think about us.

In the end, while I (briefly) considered rushing home for program type clothes, I decided to roll with it. It was not worth it to rush and go and do so my kids could wear some certain outfit. And not once during that program did I even think about my kids' clothes. I was focused on their smiles and how they sang and did they dance. It was fun and great and FANTABULOUS. Even if they weren't dressed up in their finest and polished up.

My goal is to affirm to other moms that while we feel pressured to achieve some damn goal, the achievers are few and far between and us catcher-uppers are more common than anyone would like to believe.

P.S. I do work for the Lutheran Church and there is a Minister in my title and I STILL am not a super-mom. So there. Take that.

Mother's Day is almost here...aaah.

Yesterday a friend and I went for manicures and pedicures to treat ourselves for Mother's Day. It was fantastic. I hadn't been for either in a looooong time and forgot how relaxing it is. They had wonderful massage chairs-the best I've ever sat in-and did a great job. I had been in a lot of pain yesterday so it was especially nice to feel better. We laughed and had fun and just relaxed. I was a tad overwhelmed and edgy before, so it was to my family's benefit as I came home much happier. Wish I could afford to do it every week.

I have got to get some pictures uploaded, but I am too lazy right now. Colin lost his FIRST tooth and is very excited. As the youngest he often feels like he has to wait FOREVER for these kinds of things and he wanted to pull the tooth out himself when it was barely wiggly. I got him to wait and we pulled it out this morning, he is very, very happy and showing off his grin all over the place. The tooth next to it is wiggly as well and won't be too far behind.

On a hugely exciting note we will be moving soon. We are buying a house! We'll be leasing to own for a couple years, the seller can avoid tax penalties and it gives us a bit more time to get the loan in place. We're getting a great deal and the house is PERFECT. We cannot wait, we've been renting for way, way too long and as much as we've made this our home it just isn't that great and could be taken care of much better by our landlords. It will be so nice to be in our own place and have our money going towards something instead of into someone's pocket.

I can't wait, and am so excited. Except the move will happen around mid to end of June and it's MAY and I have a lot to pack and do. GAH!

I've started

yet another dishcloth. They are so handy and so easy to make and it is so easy to avoid working on a project that seems to be taking forever in favor of a quick little nifty dishcloth.

I'm toying with the idea of crocheting a bathroom rug or two, but because of the aforementioned projects I've been avoiding I don't want to start anything new. I really, really need to just buckle down and work on them. The crazy part is that I like working on them once I get going, so it makes no sense for me to avoid them.

I'm not sure why I expect myself to make sense though, you'd think I'd have gotten used to it by now.

Collect your money

I officially missed yesterday. If only I had popped on to dash off a quick note. Except I didn't.

I spent much of the day at church where the line is often blurred between my volunteering and working. For some I am told to put down hours worked, but for others its all volunteered. I ended up with the notes from the two hour afternoon meeting as well personal notes for all the things asked/given to me to do as a result of the meeting. Wheeeee!

I also went to dinner with a friend and it was very nice, very nice! I think both of us needed a break from husbands/kids/jobs/houses to vent and talk and laugh. I felt much better, especially after being sick and in spite of having fifty bazillion thousand things to do at work and home.

Apparently it was also Ex-Boyfriend Day at the restaurant we went to for lunch. First I saw an ex who I had almost married and was with for a long time. I haven't run into him for at least 8 years and it was sort of strange because he looks older and it was a reminder that I also look older and am indeed in my 30's. The other is a good friend and our daughters and sons now play together and I've gotten over the weird we're grown-ups now factor with him. I did tell my mom that we needed to get out of there because after one or two more ex-boyfriend sightings it could only go downhill from there

Alright

so I made yesterday's post on the 1st, but then didn't get it posted until today. But it retained the original date. So there you go. My only defense is that I have once again caught the latest respiratory whatever going around.

Sometimes I feel like Charlie Brown.

The handy thing about Identical Twins

is that if people want to know what they look like and there is only one of them around, I can say "There's another one just like her."*

*Disclaimer: Yes, we celebrate their individuality and they are not known as the twins or as one person, but as two entirely separate people who look very much the same.

This should've been my post for the 2nd, which I apparently did not actually publish to my blog.

I could've probably gotten away with

the post about posting every day in May as my actual first day of May post, but I'm going to shock you and post AGAIN! HA HA!

I had to post to show off Abbie & Arenne, who are now NINE years old and WAY WAY TOO OLD.



I realized the other day when talking with some moms about baby stuff that I no longer have any babies. I've known this for awhile, but this is the first time it really hit me that I NO LONGER HAVE ANY BABIES! I had four children in three and a half years and my world was baby central for so long. Wow. No babies. There's good and bad in that. The good is no more midnight bottles, diaper changes, diaper BUYING, spit-up, endless crying and all that. The bad is no more sweet baby smiles and giggles or baby head sniffing or soft baby cuddles, and well, you know the rest.

I will just have to snuggle other people's babies. And watch as mine get older and older every single minute.

Blog A Day? I think I can, I think I can...

The loverly Venus & Nicole are blogging each day of May and I am going to try to keep up. A smart woman would bet against me given my track record, but there's something to be said for not being able to shut my mouth and the ability to type fast. We'll see how I do!

I am officially a MOA

now that I have survived Advent, Christmas, Easter and Confirmation services. Whew.

The good news is that I am slowly but surely making my way through the mountains of files and learning the various equipment and software and feeling more on top of things every day. It helps to be feeling better and have more energy.

I had wanted to try to get some things made up for a craft fair we had this past weekend, unfortunately I have been having a rough go of it with the arthritis so I gave up on that idea. Hopefully next year. I did find some nice handmade rugs for my kitchen and get a new purse, woohoo!

I really, really hope to get some sleep tonight. This past week has been a restless one and I didn't have my usual time on the weekend to rest.

Not bad, not bad at all

were my doctors words at my appt yesterday. I told him that was good because I wasn't overly fond of bad.

I haven't needed an epogen or neuprogen shot in 3 weeks and after a fun-filled day and night of keeping my urine in a jug and then a big bad blood draw yesterday morning and THEN my doctor's visit I have found that all my levels look very good and things are going pretty darn well.

I do not have to go back for a month. I have a whole month of no blood draws, no hospital or doctor visits, no injections. A MONTH.

I will still have to do the whole pee in a jug thing along with the blood draws in a month, but I'll take every bit I can get.

I also get to take one less med. Life is good, not bad, not bad at all.

Yeah, I'm not finishing the photo post

because it has been forever and I just don't feel like it.

Sorry for not posting for so long, I am really not feeling well. Lots of joint pain, probably due to the dampness and rain.

I am not all that witty or interesting at the moment, but I am crocheting & knitting. At some point I will actually put some pics up.

Abbie & Arenne turned 9, it is so crazy how old they are getting, it's just too fast! They had a dog party centered around my mom's new dog, Petey. It was hilarious and a lot of fun.

Hopefully I will be on again soon and a little more interesting!

stolen from Nicole and Venus

Here’s how it works:
1. Go to www.photobucket.com
2. Type in your answer to the question in the “search” box
3. Use only the first page
4. Insert the picture into your Blog

1. What is your relationship status?

2. What is your current mood?



3. Who is your favorite band/artist?




4. What is your favorite movie?



*****Need to pause and will finish later!

5. What kind of pet do you have?



6. Where do you live?



7. Where do you work?



8. What do you look like?



9. What do you drive?



10. What did you do last night?



11. What is your favorite TV show?



12. Describe yourself.



13. What are you doing today?




14. What is your name?



15. What is your favorite candy?

Not ANOTHER shot!

So, my white blood count has dropped again. It's not as severe as last time, but it's low so I am back on the neupogen. At least it is only one time a week. So two shots once a week with CBC to monitor me.

Yesterday's epogen shot really hurt, they haven't been as painful, or so I thought. Maybe I was just used to the pain from having them so often and now that I am on one a week I am noticing more?

Congested and stuffed up again BLEH, BLECH. I am learning that remission does not equal feeling healthy and great, more that it is better but still with issues and pain.

On the yarn side I have finished a washcloth for each of the kids, but I haven't gotten pics yet. I started a shawl/poncho. The pattern is for an asymmetrical poncho but it doesn't seem wide enough so it might be a shawl in the end. I am trying to make up some things to sell for an upcoming craft fair, but I'm not sure I will have enough time. We'll see.

Drew's Bunny Imitation

Little by little

Everyday is a little better, thank goodness!!! I actually worked a full eight hour day (actually about ten total). Of course I then had to recover and am wiped out and in more pain, but I'll keep on chugging. The influenza cold crap seems a little worse, hopefully it is just part of the natural course but we're keeping an eye on it. I am tired of it though.

I've found a group about my condition-called Polyarteritis Nodosa, or PAN for short. I am so happy to have found it, it's a tremendous resource. The members are people like myself, family members, and doctors and nurses. It's really great to have found a group of people with so much knowledge and support.

I was getting some crocheting and knitting done everyday as well but have had a few days of a break from it, not on purpose but I've just been too tired. A friend is setting up a crafter show and has asked if I would be interested in having some things in it, so I need to get my behind in gear and make some stuff. Wheee!

Holy week is a busy one in my job so between work, home, and my illness it's about all I do.

Last night we had our Good Friday service, with a traditional tenebrae service. It was very beautiful and moving and sad. After each of the candles were extinguished a toll was sounded and we ended with a prayer at the front of the church, around the altar in front of the cross, and they ended with the sound of a door shutting-to symbolize the closing of the tomb. I was very moved by all of it, and was glad to see more people there than our last few Lenten services. Hopefully in true form we will have even more for Easter services. It's really interesting to be in on the inner workings with my job. I've grown up in the church but I didn't realize all of the many things I didn't know and still have yet to learn.

I'll end with my five year old's interpretation of Jesus from the children's sermon on Maundy Thursday (announced to the entire church), "Jesus was born in a manger and grew up and helped people and then he got dead." Now when this child speaks up in public my husband and I cringe, just waiting to hear what will come out of his mouth. This time I wasn't sure how to react, and in true sap form I have to admit I was a little moved at his understanding even if got dead isn't the best way to say it.

The Alien Has Landed

Drew totally loves his alien washcloth. I've started a dragonfly-another of Nicole's patterns-for Arenne and then will be a frog for Abbie. Colin has already asked for an alien like Drew's. The washcloths have definitely gotten me back into the swing of things. I'm also working on a hat in some Andean Treasure, using a bamboo crochet hook. There is something so soothing and satisfying watching the yarn become something. It's saved my sanity through all the illness and being stuck at home and not able to do much.

Alien Cloth time!

Drew, the 7 year old, has chosen his pattern for a washcloth-the alien cloth by Nicole of Purple Duckie. Out of the cotton yarn I have on hand he chose Sugar 'n Cream in Blue Grass. I am really digging the colors in this yarn. Next up will be a dragonfly cloth for Arenne. I am very happy to be friends with my yarn again, especially with this illness, or I'd be even more stir crazy.

Influenza, you have won.

It was a bitter battle and influenza has won. Completely and totally kicked my behind and I am down for the count. I slept much of the day away, aside from kid interruptions including the youngest rolling all over me, and am up briefly to take some medicine and have some soup before crashing again.

Listen, folks. I am trying to keep my spirits up. I want to be celebrating my newfound remission. Instead I am sick...AGAIN. Highly irritating.

On a nice note a friend went in to help organize my office where things have been piled on my desk waiting for my return-as I work in a church people often feel they have free reign in there-. Since I've been sick (or children have) for three weeks and counting there were massive piles everwhere. I've been given a new bookshelf, other shelves and organizers, and a cleared off desk. It feels like one of those makeover shows on hgtv. Now if I could just get well enough to actually be in said office.

Sigh.

Another washcloth done!

This time it's Nicole's Duckie cloth, for Colin. He chose the pattern and the color and loves it! Wheee! This influenza has hit me hard and it's been nice to be making things with yarn again so I don't go too stir crazy. Arenne and Colin are both feeling better, although Ari is still coughing quite a bit. Abbie & Drew have still not gotten this, I really hope they don't.

Off to the hospital for the shot I missed yesterday and to work to try to cram a few days worth of work into a couple hours. Fun, fun, fun.

double post day!

Just to post totally unnecessary pictures, hooray! I picked these things up in California while out getting presents for the kids. Usually I don't get much for myself, but I couldn't resist these. First is a scrubber holder for my froggy kitchen, then a mug that cracked me up because I am amused easily. Let's hope I'll be well enough to actually do some golfing this summer!



And I'll end with a delicious shot of some chocolate chip cookies I made last night. Yes folks, I actually baked something!